Don’t ask me why I wanted to work in a shoe store. Having inherited my mother’s freakishly large feet, shopping for shoes ranks somewhere between getting a root canal and filing my tax return on the list of things I enjoy. At the time of my employment, Payless was the only store in a 50-mile radius that carried my size, and the selection was terrible. Think elderly churchgoer. I would’ve looked just as stylish had I duct-taped the shoe boxes to my feet.
Interesting Fact of the Day: My high heel is exactly the size of a standard wine bottle.
Anyway, here is my assessment of working at Payless ShoeSource...
PROS
- Using my discount, I was able to save a whopping 75-cents on my oversized high heels.
- I managed to amuse myself by channeling Al Bundy from Married with Children. “I sell shoes. Envy me.”
CONS
- Big corporations love annoying procedures and unnecessary paperwork. I had to take a drug test, fill out one of those Briggs-Meyer personality profiles, and undergo formal training, all for the humiliation of working at the local mall. As a testament to their lengthy screening process, I was offered ecstasy by another sales associate on my first day of work.
- Participation in the employee suggestive selling competition was mandatory. I got stuck promoting deodorizing shoe balls to smelly-footed customers and easily secured last place.
- I had planned to use this opportunity to meet other fabulous women with size 12 feet, but the only regular customer who purchased shoes in my size was a cross-dressing man.
- I quickly discovered that most adults are too lazy or too dumb to put a shoe back where it belongs. They prefer to cram it into the wrong box, possibly in a different aisle. Um, yeah, thanks for making my minimum-wage job more challenging.
That wine bottle is calling my name. Next time, I will reflect on my time spent as a gas station attendant.
This one really made me laugh. I think it was the comparison between your shoe size and a standard wine bottle. Thanks.
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